I’ve written a few posts about how different aspects of my life have changed since becoming a mum. However, I’ve never really touched on how I’ve changed as an individual over-all.
Before having Grayson I had a very short temper, I’ve always had a very short fuse and probably always will. Since having Grayson though my fuse has grown, because as a parent you have to learn to take a step back and realise your child isn’t being a dick on purpose, they’re just being a kid. I think because of this, if anyone’s really getting on my nerves and I can feel my anger building I just imagine that they’re a child and my temper subsides for a while longer.
I’ve also found that I can look at the bigger picture a lot better now. When I was younger and in jobs I would put so much pressure on myself to the point that I’d make myself physically unwell and take work home with me, because I needed to please everyone. Don’t get me wrong I still have these days in my current job where it all gets too much and I have a massive wobbly BUT it happens far less often because I remember that Grayson is at home waiting for me. If things are bad at work, it can wait for a few hours because my son is more important than anything else.
My heart has grown, I’ve become like the grinch because my heart has doubled in size. With Grayson, I never had that instant rush of love for a number of reasons. But every single day, my love for him just grows and grows because he’s just an absolutely incredible little boy. I look at him and just think: how have I made such a beautiful, happy, smart, kind and carefree little boy?
I’m the same in a lot of ways, because I’m stubborn and swear too much (I’m really trying not to with our little parrot following me round) and I’m sarcastic. I struggle to forgive and forget and I’ll never be perfect, but Grayson has made me so much of a better person and I can’t ever thank him enough for that.
