Motherhood and my identity.

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In a lot of ways I was very lucky after having Grayson, I had a wonderful husband and support system. After we started combination feeding, breastfeeding was a lot easier (we still had blips obviously) and in general things were too bad.

One issue I had quite early on was that I really lost my identity and who I was. My life revolved around this new little being, and it was no longer about what I wanted. I wouldn’t change it or Grayson for the world, but it was hard no longer being Ashleigh. I wasn’t working, and I don’t have many friends so I struggled for a long time to remember who I was before Grayson.

It slowly started coming back to me when Grayson started getting his own personality, because I could see so much of myself in him, which made me remember different things about myself. It also helped a lot when I started to spend the occasional hour or day away from Grayson, because even though I missed him more than anything, it meant I HAD to remember who I was because I was alone and without my little buddy.

I think it’s so important for all parents and care givers, but especially mum’s to try and remember who they were before they had children. I still struggle to remember who I am a lot of the time, but that’s okay because a lot of my identity has become being Grayson’s mama, and I’d never change that.

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