Mark and I will have been married for a year next month, which is just crazy to think about! With it coming up to being a year I’ve been thinking a lot about our day and different aspects of it (we have a whole wedding series that can be found on the blog), but I’ve also been thinking about the guests and what counts as a good guest and what counts as a bad guest.
So I thought I’d do a post for those of you that might not have been to a wedding (as not everyone has) or if you aren’t always sure about certain aspects you might read this and go “oh, I’d never thought about that”.
Get your RSVP’s in promptly.
For a lot of couples getting married, getting numbers and food choices back to the venues and caterers with plenty of time to spare is a must. So when you get the RSVP, don’t put it somewhere and forget about it – just get it done! It makes life a lot easier for the couple to have everything back so that they have less people to chase.
Don’t ask if you can bring a plus 1.
When planning a wedding, as much as you’d love to have everyone and their neighbours there, it’s expensive and you have to be cruel sometimes with who you can and can’t invite. So if they bride and groom have put that you get a plus 1 on your invite, fab, but if they haven’t there is probably a valid reason for that. Don’t make the couple feel bad because they probably have a number (and a budget to stick to).
Don’t message the couple the day before or on the morning of the wedding.
Try and think of any questions you have for the couple, well in advance. I’ve been a bridesmaid and I’ve seen the brides getting calls and texts from guests whilst getting their make up done and that isn’t fair. Mark and I put a post up with all the information a week before the wedding, and re-shared it a few days before. I also put at the end that we wouldn’t be responding to any questions the morning of the wedding and it worked a treat!
Find out what they would like as a gift.
Most of the time, you’ll find couples will include this information in their invites but on the off chance they haven’t for whatever reason then just send them a message, but well in advance (see point above) and get an idea of what they’d like.
Don’t post photos online without checking first.
This didn’t bother us at all, so we never said anything to anyone as we were happy for people to post whenever. However, not every couple is comfortable with this and so rather than just posting photos, a week or so after the wedding send the photos to the bride and groom and if there are any you want to post just ask! Obviously it’s different if it’s a photo of you at the wedding, I mean photos of the couple themselves!
Don’t get upset if they don’t get to talk with you.
Weddings are amazing, they’re so full of love and fun but for the bride and groom it can be hard work to try and talk to every guest, and have pictures taken and spend some quality time together. So there’s a chance they’ll say hello and thanks for coming, but that might be it! Don’t take it personally, as they’ve invited you so clearly wanted you to be there. It’s just sometimes the day can run away with you and then you realise you’ve forgotten to speak to someone! So don’t take it to heart.
These are some tips that I’ve taken in to account when attending weddings as a guest, but also things I think of when I remember guests that we had. We were really lucky that all of our guests were really good, but not everyone is that lucky. So if you’re attending any weddings this year, maybe think of the couple who have been nice enough to invite you to their special day and pay for you to have a good time!
Do you have any tips on being the perfect wedding guest?