Age gaps and relationships tend to get quite mixed opinions, but the negative opinions tend to be a lot stronger than the positive.
Mark and I have a 12 year age gap between us, and I can honestly say it’s never caused any issues. I think sometimes people believe that age gaps can be problematic because you’re in different stage of life to one another, and can want different things because of the stages you’re at.
I do think that a lot of the time this is true, if you’re 18 and you’re dating a nearly 30 year old you’re more likely to be in completely different stages. This isn’t true for every relationship of course, but I think back to 18 and although I felt like an adult I probably wouldn’t have been ready for a completely adult relationship.
Mark and I met when we were both in very difficult times in our lives, and we automatically became drawn to one another. Initially I didn’t have a huge interest in Mark because I couldn’t see it working because we were in different stages in life but not in the way you’d expect.
Mark was always very adamant on the fact that he didn’t want marriage or children, and I respected that because it isn’t for everyone, but I always knew it was what I wanted. Then the more we spoke and opened up to one another, Mark admitted that actually it was just that he hadn’t found the right person yet. I initially thought he was probably just saying that for effect, but spoiler alert we’re now happily married and have a toddler and a mortgage so definitely wasn’t just for effect!
Occasionally we will be aware of cultural differences: for example, I’ll mention dancing to a song at my primary school disco with Capri sun in my hand and Mark will remember the same song from his university days with a beer in his hand. But we don’t let these things bother us, instead we laugh about the differences because it’s what makes us work so well as a couple.
People are always shocked when they learn about the age difference between Mark and I, because people can’t actually see it (I think they envision an old man and a child or something??). Regardless of our age gap, it makes no difference to us or the people around us because we work together and we love each other and that’s what really counts.
It’s cliche but the saying ‘age is just a number’ really does apply in our case, because I don’t ever think about our ages. I just think about how far we’ve come in the time we’ve been together.
What are your opinions on age gaps?