I’m sure any parent reading this post is very aware of separation anxiety in children, but if you’re not for any reason, separation anxiety is when children get particularly clingy towards their parents or caregivers. It’s a super normal thing for babies and young children to experience, so if you ever notice you’re child showing signs it’s nothing to worry about!
However, it’s also something that adults can suffer from as well and oddly I’ve suffered with it more the older that Grayson has gotten. I wrote a post a while back about mum guilt and Grayson was still very little at the time, and I have found that my guilt has started to slowly decrease as he’s gotten older because I look at him and how he is as a person and know that he is okay and that I’m doing okay.
But it seems that as the mum guilt has started to subside, that the separation anxiety has set in more. I expected to feel more comfortable leaving Grayson the older that he got, but it’s gotten worse, to the point that the thought of leaving him makes me feel ill.
Children become really aware of things, and leaving Grayson and knowing that if he’s upset, scared, angry or he needs me and I’m not there to help him, it makes me feel awful. I also hate when I come back, and he seems like he’s just grown up more in the time that I’ve been gone.
I’m going away on Wednesday, and it’s the 2nd time I’ve ever spent away from Grayson and Mark. It’s going to be me by myself, and the thought of leaving him makes me feel awful. I feel as his mum, I should always be there when he needs me and so not being able to do that heightens my anxiety to a point that when I’m away I can’t calm down.
I know Grayson will always be fine, and I know as he gets older this feeling will subside. However, right now the thought of leaving my sweet little 22 month old makes my heart feel sad.